Thursday, 27 February 2014
Practice was fine - if not insane (hint, hint!).
First off, the Fairy and Andres were absent; Fairy was visiting Acrime and Andres almost fainted like a dragon eating an eel. A.K.A he was off with a bad illness swooping chickens. Only chickens. It only infects chickens.
So, I took over the Fairy, Tutor sahib took over Andres.
Honor: Now how is this story supposed to start.. WHOA WHOA WHOA I REMEMBER NOW!! Sorry, the Fairy has memory loss issues.
Anyway, once there was a princess, the princess of Clementine... wait, wasn't it Callentine?
...Beauty, who was the ugliest person in the universe.
Everyone: And Beauty is ugly, she doesn't have SENSE, doesn't have any sense cuz she's a pea-brain...
Beauty: Shut UP!
Tutor thought he was awesome as his double, Andres...
Tutor: I'm Andres! On the FLOOR!
Honor: Umm... Neither Faraaz nor Andres say that. EVER. Don't you know that about your best friend?
Tutor: On the Honor floor!
...but he sucked at both.
Beauty: No, it's YOU who will be sorry! Guard, take him away!
Tutor: [(to Guard) Man, I hate you.] NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Honor: How should I reward her? Maybe a golden brush, a magic mirror... oh, I know, a handsome prince!
I SAID, A HANDSOME PRINCE!
Tutor: What? Do that again!
Honor: NO! YOU ENTER, YOU NERD!!
Tutor: Okay, okay, chill!
Honor: Ah, that's a good-but-still-extremely-mental one!
On second thoughts, that's onnneeee dork-y prince.
...make him blind! *snaps fingers*
Tutor: Oh man. (Rubs eyes) Ohh, crap.
Honor: Now that's called on the floor!
Tutor: No, really, Nick poked me in the eye!
Honor: Thank GOD he has SOME sense!
Jill showed up late:
Jill: I'm here! Did you miss me?
Tutor: Why would we?
Jill: Well... uh... because...
Nick: (Holds up pencil) Five pisses of go-
Jill: STOP WITH THE PISSES ALREADY! (Snatches pencil)
Nick: Hey! I earned that!
That's about it. Keep an eye out for more updates!
Sunday, 23 February 2014
So I have this... this... tradition, this thingie, an assigned day when I'm allowed to bake something for school. Every week. It's Sunday, basically, and I always wake up at 2 pm and go lazy style. I skip lunch, and bake instead. Fun, huh?
So the usual easy and portable goods are cupcakes, mini cheesecakes, or cookies and quick breads.
Flavor, you ask?
Which brings me to another point,
I don't really like chocolate...
I know, right?! It's just too overpowering for my taste.
Though I'm a weirdo veggie-and-broccoli monster. Chocolate just doesn't seem to work with me!!
Though I love vanilla! The scent, the simple scent.
Most people I know prefer vanilla, too.
Martha. The great Martha Stewart. She is... just awesome. The best. She has the best recipes EVAH. Hands down!
I use internet recipes as bases and build them up. As I did with this recipe.
1/2 cup butter
1 cup sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3/4 cup milk
For the vanilla frosting
1/2 cup softened butter
2 cups powdered sugar
2-3 tablespoons milk
For the cake,
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C).
Grease a 12- pan cupcake tin (or 36 mini tins, for mini ones, you might have to bake minis in batches of 24 or 12 each batch) or use paper liners. I recommend greasing because, hey, why waste paper?
Sift together the baking powder, flour, and salt.
In a separate bowl, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes.
Add the eggs one at a time, beating for 2 minutes after each egg. This gives the finished product a lighter texture.
Add the milk and flour mixture in 2 additions for the milk and 3 for flour, starting and ending with flour. Be sure to sift it in, and do NOT overbeat.
Pour abour 3/4 tb of batter per tin. Shove it on the oven. Wash the dishes while you wait. They will be done very quickly.
For the frosting,
Beat the butter for 3 or 4 minutes. Add in the powdered sugar and milk to desired consistency.
Frost the cupcakes as desired. Serve up!
Wednesday, 19 February 2014
Hey guys! I remember that when I used to live in the States, we used to go the Sears and Natick malls, and sometimes Palacades mall. I remember our favorite places- Macy's, Claire's, Hot Topic (my two sisters' favorite), and, my all-time favorite... the food court.
I used to love the huge variety, like those flavored popcorn stands, soft pretzels, PF Chang's, S'barro-a pizza place declared delicious, Panda Express, with its amazing orange chicken, anything from Subway and McDonalds to The Cheesecake Factory and The Melting Pot. You name it, they'll have it. My family and I used to go to one of the three malls every weekend.
Of course, since we moved to Pakistan, I miss them, and try to recreate it. I've taught myself pizza like S'barro, Alfredo like the Cheesecake Factory, homemade popcorn, orange chicken, and, most importantly, soft pretzels. But, as I recently discovered, the Mall of Lahore have some products worth copying.
I know, I know, I can't copy their peppermint tea or cat treats, but what I can copy is their baguettes! Soft from the inside, crunchy from the outside... one word- PERFECT.
Light and airy, perfect with hummus, butter, cream cheese, or to make sandwiches, paninis, garlic bread, and even for breakfast!
You give me a reason not to make these because they are DELICIOUS!
1 tbsp dried yeast
1 1/4 cups warm water (about 115 degrees F)
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
3 1/2 cups flour, plus more for kneading
1 tsp baking soda
Mix together all the ingredients exept the flour and baking soda. Let sit for 10 minutes or until foamy.
In a separate bowl, sift 2 cups of the flour and the baking soda. Form a 'well' in the center and add the yeast-y mixture, stir, add the remaining flour and knead for 10 minutes, until smooth (like the dough in the first picture). Place in a large bowl- make sure it's greased -and cover in plastic wrap. Let sit for 1 hour till doubled in size (second picture).
Remove from bowl, punch down a few times, and form into a long log-ish shape.
Place onto a huge sheet pan sprayed with baking spray or greased with butter or oil; DO NOT use foil!
Cover, let sit for 30 minutes, to become ginormous.
Preheat you oven to 200 degrees C (400 degrees F).
Shove the bread into the oven Brush your bread with milk and THEN shove into the preheated oven, remove when bread is hollow when tapped and golden.
Last step, DEVOUR.
Monday, 17 February 2014
Honor: So I sat quietly...
Andres: Agreed politely...
Honor: In your case, "Agreed blind-elyyy!"
Sandy: Shut UP!!
Andres: Bloody hell!
Honor: Bloody head!
Sandy: Bloody TEXTBOOKS!
Tutor: I- *hiccup* give me a *hiccup* minute-
(Holds breath for an internity)
Aahhhh! That's *hiccup* ohhiccuphhhhh!
Tutor: Ready for actio*hiccup* ERRRRhiccupRRRRRR!
When he did...
Nick: Youza spoiled brat, you iz!
Jimmy: (screaming his lungs out) SHE YELLED AT ME! BEAUTY, DON'T GOOOOO! PLEEEASE!!
HAHA! Later, the Scribe writes 'Nuruddin likes to eat insects' on the board and drew a cockroach next to it labelled 'Nuruddin'!
Nuruddin: Miss! Look what he wrote on the board!
So Scribe quickly erases the cockroach, replaced it with a cheeseburger, and wrote 'fast food' instead of 'insects'
Later than later later...
Nick: Five pisses of gold!
(everyone starts laughing)
Andres: (almost falls over) FIVE... PISSES! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Andres: I like to throw coins. Cuz I'm rich. Ha ha.
Honor: No, you're not.
Andres: Oh yeah. Wait, WHAT? Oh no you didn't!
Honor: Oh yes I di-id!
Nick: Let's call your fairy godmother!
Teacher: Fairy Godmother?
Fairy: Oh yeah.
Huh, what next?
Nick: Yeeeew are la princessa?
Honor: No, she's el prince de Acrime!
Sunday, 16 February 2014
It's pretty obvious that I'm Honor.
Zoya is out with flu. After nine hours. Again. She basically sounds like a horse with a hoarse throat. She feels really bad because her BFF, Anusha, asked for some cookies and she is NOT going to school tomorrow, so I need to substitute for her. I needed to go anyway, ahem, play reharsal. Speaking of which, I'll deliver a seventh Honor Update tomorrow.
Aaaaaanywaaaayyyy, I am brick-headed right now.
Zoya has this spelling bee tomorrow. She had revised aboit 250 words. I haven't. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD!
AND she's reading 'Percy Jackson: Lightning Theif' in bed while my bread is rising along with my anxiety!
Posted via Blogaway
BUT I never stop baking, apparently.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day...
Many apologies for not posting anything...
I gave flowers and handmade chocolate out to teachers and friends, and I wanted you guys to try these chocolates for yourself! They taste soooooo good!
Oh, BTW, you should use good quality cocoa powder.
Add this to the water, allow the temperature to rise but DON'T BOIL!
Sift together the sugars and salt, and stir into the cocoa mix.
Add the milk.
Blend until smooth. Pour into the bottoms of various containers or chocolate moulds.. Allow to set 8 hours to overnight.
You can fill these with dark chocolate, white chocolate, peanut butter, jam, strawberry sauce... the list is endless!
Monday, 10 February 2014
Practice was INSANE today. Just got back.
First practice was in our third break-
So we start from scene four...
Tim: (tries to lift barbell-type object) Aah.. aah.. ASHOOMDRAMATIC! (drops it)
Mayor: Nick next!
Nick: I CAN DO THIS! (Tries to lift it) I.. Nick the First... will.. AAH! HELP! MAMA!
Honor: Itssssssss... TWO FORTY FI-IVE!
Andres: Wha.. wha... NOOOOO! (Tries to run out the door but slams into it) Ai ai ai ai AIIII!!
Honor: On the floor!
Mayor: Here's your prize! (Acts like he's throwing a cricket ball)
Jill: (snatches it from his hand) You need someone-
Nick: Do the chicken dance! (Starts doing it with the mayor)
Jill: JUST SPEND THE STUPID BLING!
Jill: (to Beauty) You are as ugly as... THE TUTOR'S FEET!
Tutor and Beauty: Hey!
Tutor: My feet are beautiful!
Beauty: I'm beautiful!
Jill: Both of you are the ugliest things I've ever seen!
So, Mrs. Dimitra has a preview of the dresses. Mine is not bad, just a medieval dress with frills,
I think everyone has seen Cinderella. The Fairy Godmother is dressed as Cinderella with a wand. But that's not the funniest part...
ANDRES WEARS WHAT THE PRINCE IN CINDERELLA WEARS!
(With a sash, of course!)
And later, after school,
Honor: Come dance the next dance, mister.
Beauty: Do I look like a man to you? Do you think I have a mustache?
Honor: You do have long hair, but I see your mustache loud and clear!
Beauty: [You insult me!] Well, I'll need to go talk to Anda!
Honor: (Facepalm) ANDRES! HIS NAME IS ANDRES! NOT ANDA!
Beauty: Aaaaaanywaaaayyyy... hair, shoes, dress, work.. yada yada yada.
Honor: This is my sissy friend, Ugly.
Beauty: AHEM, HONOR, my name is Beauty. Pleasure meeting you.
Andres: (Bows to Honor) Pleasure to meet you too.
Honor: You need to bow to the afro next to me!
Everyone is screaming,
Fairy's lines are going on.
Honor: You just gotta igniiite the liiight, and leeeet it shiiiiiine...
Fairy: (whispering) I decided to...
Honor: OWN THE NIGHT!!
Fairy: SHUT UP!
Honor: Shut your wings first!
Later later later...
The freeze scene after I'm crowned Queen of the Ball.
Honor: HANDS UP!
Fairy: SHUT up!
Honor is in an intoxicated position.
Fairy: Mis.. tracke... HA HA HA HA HA!
Fairy: (points at Honor) She's makin me laugh!
Honor: I'm just standing in the background! (Blows Fairy a raspberry)
Fairy: HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Another funny thing. Every time I type Fairy, it ends up either-
Because of auto correction!
Thats all, folks! HONOR OUT!
Sunday, 9 February 2014
Honor AND Zoya here, well, typically Zoya first. We are going to tell you our comparison and how to recognize us.
I'm gonna list the differences.
1. Zoya is a normal girl, in school, who loves baking, playing guitar, and studying. Honor a princess (the nicer one) of Callentine, who loves to hate Andres, loves acting, and recently discovered a liking for art.
2. Honor and Zoya are two different people.
3. Honor = princess. Zoya = just a regular girl.
Honor on the track now with the similarities.
1. Honor and Zoya have the same style.
2. We both look identical and love the same things.
3. We both hate Andres and love to make fun of him.
The best way to know which of us is which, Honor always has a blue bow on, and Zoya is always with Anusha, while Honor is always with the Fairy Godmother. Strange, huh? But Fairy's pretty nice and cool, like BFFS should be. Haha, we're both crazy, me and Fairy!
Ok, so Zoya needs to do some stuff. And so do I. Bye for now,
Zoya and Honor OUT!
Zoya's out sick with a sore throat and flu.
Oh, spring coming along, and with spring comes Valentine's Day.
Of course, I bet you WILL do somethin' for it. I'm lucky because it's on a Friday in Pakistan, and I'm takin' heart cake pops to school, along with some homemade soaps and candles- and don't forget the roses!
Stumped? Don't know what to make? A roundup is comin' on Tuesday!
Check this out.
Remember Zoya's post, The BEST Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe EVER? I tried an altered version of that, and they are SCRUMPTIOUS!
Makes about 36 cookies
1 cup butter, melted and cooled
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1 cup white granulated sugar
2 organic cage-free eggs, plus 1 egg yolk
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda, DO NOT use baking powder
3 cups all-purpose flour
3 cups chocolate chips, DO NOT use chopped chocolate
In a medium-size bowl, sift the flour, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
Mix the butter, sugars, eggs and egg yolk and vanilla in a large bowl.
Sift in the dry ingredients to form a dough. Stir in the chocolate chips.
Let the dough chill in your fridge for 1 hour to overnight.
Preheat your oven to 350 F (180 C). Line two cookie sheets with parchment paper, foil, or grease them with butter.
Roll your dough into 1-2 inch balls. Place them on the cookie sheets and bake for 8-10 minutes or until golden-brown from the bottom but still slightly soft. Let cool for 5 minutes until transferring to cooling racks. Let cool completely.
Garnish with fresh strawberries and chocolate bark.
Tuesday, 4 February 2014
Everyone just screams "LAAAATE!"
He was totally embarrassed. "I was trying to find English Drama!"
So then Fairy gives him a disgusted look. "Cuz it's running away, I mean, duh, you idiot!"
I, Honor had quite a headache and was dying, "Oh God, Fairy, you fluttering flutterfly of a flashy fishy's flippin flipper! Just be quiet! You've been chattering since you got here!"
Fairy: Uh, DUH!
Honor: I mean, NUH!
Teacher: Okay girls, enough!
Later, I'm making notes for this update, when the Fairy starts to do it too!
Fairy Notes! "And.... said... sake... blonde... no, BLIND..."
The Teacher was quite angry with her. "ANUSHA! GET YOUR BUM OFF THAT CHAIR AND MOVE IT! SCENE TWO!"
Fairy: Just.. a... minute.. Miss...
And as my signature, I just have to make a face at her!
Eventually, I get laughing at nothing.
"I've got the eye of the tiger, unlike the Fairy, and she's gonna hear me ROAR!
Louder, louder than Anusha, cuz I am the lion..."
Fairy: Once there was a princess, the fair...
Teacher: Ahem, prince face on. Please?
Fairy: Oh, I'm terribly sorry!
*blah blah blah* make him blind! *snap*
Andres: What? Baby camels? Awesome!
Whoops, sorry, Miss!
(Acts like he has a headache or as if someone hit him between his eyes, rubbing them. Almost intoxicated.)
Teacher: Andres! Too much!
Honor: (Makes face at Andres) Go serious or GO HOME!
Andres: Okay, okay, I got it!
(Out of nowhere) I'm rich! And a Brit!
Honor: Umm... LOL? (Starts laughing)
At that, everyone starts laughing.
So, Honor is still singin. "Now I'm floatin like a butterfly, stingin like a bee I earned my stripes..."
Tim: (acts like he's trying to lift something) Ahh! Eeeee! Oh my.. ROAR! Oomph! (Drops it)
Honor: That's not called goin from zero to your own hero!
Honor: Come dance the next dance, sister.
Beauty: [In your dreams, sister dear!] No fangs. I don't wanna mess up my dress. I'll wait here for the prince to arrive! [What was his name again?]
Honor: [His name was Acrime of Andres!] He already has!
Beauty: *yada yada yada* my perfect beauty yet?
Honor: [How can you call yourself pretty, you ugly peasant!] He's blind! Undha! (which means mental blind person in Urdu)
Beauty: Well, I'll need to go talk to Acrime!
Andres: I'm right here, you know! [It's Andres of Acrime!]
Honor: 'It' on the floor!
Honor: [On the floor!] (to Beauty) Come, I'll introJUICE you! Hehehe! (Drags her towards Andres)
Beauty: (Extremely quickly) Oh, what do I say? Dress, shoes... (Honor pulls her hair as a signal to say HAIR!)
What? Stop it!
Sandy: She's giving you a sign to say hair!
Anyway, (to Andres) this is my sister, Beauty.
Andres: (Bows at her) It is a pleasure to meet you.
Honor: I'm gonna be sick now. UGH!
Teacher: Get serious now or you will drag this practice till six! Do this scene from the beginning!
Saturday, 1 February 2014
At times like this, I prefer to bake up some comfort food, and anything that is not chocolate, with the exeption of brownies, is on my list. For example, this awesome crumb cake recipe! This recipe is altered, origianally by Jill O Conner (my favorite author).
New Yorkers are passionate about many things, but who knew crumb cake was one of them? Crumb cake traveled to America first with the Duch and later with the German immigrants, famous for their baking, sometime around the late 1800s. Its popularity spread among bakeries and home cooks alike. Now a fave in the Big Apple, most bakeries, delis, coffee shops and and corner grocers sell large chunks of this buttery yellow cake topped with a generous helping of crisp, nubbled brown sugar crumble.
For the Crumb Topping
1/3 cup granulated sugar (2 2/3 ounces)
1/3 cup dark brown sugar (2 2/3 ounces)
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon table salt
8 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 stick), melted and still warm
1 3/4 cups cake flour (7 ounces)
For the Cake
1 1/4 cups cake flour (5 ounces)
1/2 cup granulated sugar (3 1/2 ounces)
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon table salt
6 tablespoons unsalted butter (3/4 stick), cut into 6 pieces, softened but still cool
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/3 cup buttermilk
Confectioners' sugar for dusting
1. To make the Topping: Whisk sugars, cinnamon, salt, and butter in medium bowl to combine. Add flour and stir with rubber spatula or wooden spoon until mixture resembles thick, cohesive dough; set aside to cool to room temperature, 10 to 15 minutes.
2. To make the Cake: Adjust oven rack to upper-middle position and heat oven to 325 degrees. Cut 16-inch length parchment paper or aluminum foil and fold lengthwise to 7-inch width. Spray 8-inch square baking dish with nonstick cooking spray and fit parchment into dish, pushing it into corners and up sides; allow excess to overhang edges of dish.
3. In bowl of standing mixer fitted with paddle attachment, mix flour, sugar, baking soda, and salt on low speed to combine. With mixer running at low speed, add butter one piece at a time; continue beating until mixture resembles moist crumbs, with no visible butter chunks remaining, 1 to 2 minutes. Add egg, yolk, vanilla, and buttermilk; beat on medium-high speed until light and fluffy, about 1 minute, scraping once if necessary.
4. Transfer batter to baking pan; using rubber spatula, spread batter into even layer. Following photos below, break apart crumb topping into large pea-sized pieces and spread in even layer over batter, beginning with edges and then working toward center. Bake until crumbs are golden and wooden skewer inserted into center of cake comes out clean, 35 to 40 minutes. Cool on wire rack at least 30 minutes. Remove cake from pan by lifting parchment overhang. Dust with confectioners' sugar just before serving.
Note: Don't be tempted to substitute all-purpose flour for the cake flour, as doing so will make a dry, tough cake (substitute: Remove 1/2 tsp flour and replace with baking soda). If you can't find buttermilk, you can substitute an equal amount of plain, low-fat yogurt. When topping the cake, take care to not push the crumbs into the batter. This recipe can be easily doubled and baked in a 13 by 9-inch baking dish. If doubling, increase the baking time to about 45 minutes. Cooled leftovers can be wrapped in plastic wrap and stored at room temperature for up to 2 days.
I think you all have your own recipes for chocolate and vanilla cakes, whether it be as simple as one from a website, word-to-word, an altered one, or completely original, or you might just use cake mixes. Well, I'll show you what they have in them-
-Enriched Flour Bleached (Wheat Flour, Niacin, Iron, Thiamin Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid)
-Leavening (Baking Soda, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Monocalcium Phosphate)
-Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and/or Cottonseed Oil
-Modified Corn Starch
-Propylene Glycol Mono and Diesters of Fatty Acids
-Natural and Artificial Flavor
-Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate
-Yellows 5 & 6
Don't tell me you still don't understand! Now for my homade recipe for chocolate cupcakes.